International Court Files Conspiracy Charges Against Bill Gates

Flagg Eagleton Dream Come True For You Fan Fiction

The International Criminal Court has officially filed charges against Microsoft Founder and experimental virologist Bill Gates for conspiracy. According to their chief prosecutor, the evidence against him is “overwhelming.”

The filing concludes that beginning in 1988, Gates began designing viruses for computers so he could sell fixes for them. The ploy worked out so well that he decided to move into livestock. By 1994, Mad Cow disease was ravaging beef producers across Europe, while the United States suffered “very few cases.”

In 1996, Windows NT was found to have a hidden program that gave hackers the recipe to build their very own avian flu. One of those hackers managed to infect all of the pigeons in East Berlin, sending a panic through the Soviet Bloc and ultimately costing the lives of tens of thousands of the city’s beloved birds.

Windows Millenium in 2000 is now being investigated for possibly offering sarin gas recipes to Al Quaeda. According to officials from Caledonia, their citizens came inches from being eradicated accidentally as one of their top scientists played with the recipe at the national chili cook-off.

By 2009, Gates had already engineered the first coronavirus, SARS COVID1, as well as the H1N1 Swine Flu. His “foundation” came up with vaccines and sold them to Sudan for billions of dollars. Sudan used the technology to design a vaccine for ebola, and then gave it to Obama for free to save him from being impeached in 2014.

Here we are now in 2020 and Gates is at it again, engineering yet another vaccine for a virus he created in the first place. The ICC says they have proof that Gates himself was in Wuhan last November selling live bats at a wet market and laughing maniacally as people started getting sick.

The conspiracy charge will be hard to prove, but if they do, they’ll be able to charge him with 325K cases of murder. Fingers crossed.